Have you ever had to make a really hard decision and felt God’s presence so much that you felt like you were still making the wrong decision??
That was me today (Wednesday).
Yesterday on Tuesday I was told my Lyme results were back and I was meeting with my doctor on Wednesday morning to go over them with me. This was one of those moments I had a gut feeling it wasn’t going to turn out the way I thought. But I prayed and trusted God.
Wednesday morning I woke up and read my devotional that I have honestly and sadly abandoned the past few weeks. The first word was relax. I needed to trust my friend, God. Jeremy then sent me a devotional and the first two words were “Trust ME.” I felt a pattern coming…
I arrived at Envita and walked back to meet with the doctor. We went over every symptom I had when I started and where I thought I was currently after 2 months of treatment. This took about 30 minutes as I sat anxiously waiting to hear my test results.
Then the results came. This was when my emotions got to me and I couldn’t control myself. I knew what he was going to say before he even said the words. I cried. I was mad. I knew this news wasn’t going to be what I wanted to hear. I knew the treatment didn’t get all the Lyme.
In the picture below are my test results. Green is good. Yellow is borderline. Red is not good.
The first result he told me was my Lyme which is borderline. So the IV treatment did not get all the Lyme. When I started it was in the red now it is at the yellow.
The second result he told me was my co-infection, Babesia. This was still high. Not severe, but still not good.
He went over how Lyme disease is REALLY hard to treat. I actually never knew that to the extent he said. Most people don’t realize Lyme is like cancer. You can’t die from Lyme but you will always have it as there is no cure and you have very similar symptoms that affect your whole body.
Lyme is even harder to treat than the Babesia co-infection. Babesia IS the hardest co-infection to treat. This co-infection is the only parasite (all others are bacteria) and likes to hide in your red blood cells.
So you might be asking yourself…WHAT IS NEXT?
Great question. I spent all morning and most of the afternoon crying and processing and praying, a lot as to what I should do.
My doctor gave me two options. One: stay 2 more weeks getting treatment and then go home OR go home and take oral antibiotics for 2-4 months.
Don’t worry I’m coming home. After much frustration and anger I calmed down. I told. you in my last blog I don’t process things very well and this just threw me over the cliff as I really thought I was getting better, which I am.
My doctor really wanted me to stay and get treatment for two more weeks but when you are sick you just want to be home. I am about 60% better. I still have back pain, anger, anxiety, brain fog, and I’m still tired at times. But I really prayed and talked to Jeremy and my family and after much thought I made the decision that I wanted to come home. To be with my fiancé, my family, my home. To plan our wedding and just BE ME. I had so much anxiety and stress over the decision that I knew it wasn’t okay for me. When I made the decision to go home I felt SO much peace inside.
This is not going to be an easy road, I know that, but my life hasn’t been easy and God is on my side so I have FULL faith that this is exactly what I need right now. For me, for Jeremy, and for my-our future.
I’ve had a lot of ups and downs with God over the years but I love how He is right there with me. I was angry with God. Yes, but I’ve learned over the years that that’s okay, he can handle that. He is NEVER going to leave me!!
PRAYERS:
- I get my perm-a-cath out tomorrow afternoon.
- Safe travels as my mom and I head home on Saturday.
- My doctors that they can make the right protocol for me at home with the antibiotics and detox supplements.
- My future and what God wants from me.
- My anxiety and anger(I know I may not seem like an angry person but trust me, everyone has a side to them the outside world never sees).
- My Lyme and co-infection that the antibiotics do their job.
PRAISES:
- I GET TO COME HOME…THIS SATURDAY!!!
- I’m getting married in 1 month!!
James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
Lamentations 3:22-23 “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.”
Chasing Faith and Health 