🌻Living My BEST Life🌻

Have you ever tried so hard to remember something and it’s on the tip of your tongue and you just can’t spit it out.

That was me for the past 10 years. My sophomore year of High School my grades started slipping and after studying for hours on a test I would fail. I thought I was stupid and just couldn’t pass my classes. My brain just couldn’t remember things.

Towards the end of my junior year my teacher was talking to me about my grades and said to me, “Well I’m just going to pass you so you don’t need to study.” I was confused but just told everyone I was going through senioritis and didn’t care. Once I got to my senior year I honestly tried but I was so tired of trying and failing that I stopped studying.

I look back and realized my mental and physical health was declining. I felt my body going weak. Everyone who looked at me saw me succeeding and doing so well in life but on the inside I was drowning.

This went on for the next 10 years or so; until an amazing doctor named Dr. Singleton figured out what was wrong with me and I got the help I needed.

Last year was the first year I felt amazing!! I was running around and felt “normal” and not sick.

A year ago in August I took a job near Dallas, Texas called Heartlight Ministries that focuses on at-risk teens. I was so on fire and had so much energy starting out. That was until I was diagnosed with (stupid) Covid in October. I had it bad. Couldn’t breathe, move, could barely work. (Yes I still had to work while I had covid lol but it was fun when I look back on it) I went on some medication and slowly started to feel better. After this my mental health and insecurities started acting up and I broke around Christmas time. I tried to be fine but I wasn’t and I held it inside for the next few months.

Fast forward to two months ago I found a lump on my neck and freaked out. My sister who is a nurse said it was probably a lymph node which meant something was wrong with my thyroid, again. Made sense when I thought about it. For the past 4 months I was under a lot of stress at work, not a lot of energy and couldn’t remember things again. My body just didn’t feel right and I even felt myself slipping away from God.

God and I have been through a lot in my short lifetime. I have seen miracle after miracle with myself.

A month ago I decided to come home and work for my dad once again. I’m 27…living at home…and can barely afford food…great! I asked myself a question, “why I always returned home.”

So I made the decision to stay at home for a while. I love adventures and traveling but I realized that’s what I want, I don’t believe that’s what God wants from me in this season.

This made my anxiety spike. Being home. Meadville has never been an easy place to live. So many memories (good and bad) and I could feel panic arising. I sat down one afternoon and wrote out goals, something the girls I watched in Texas did when they were about to return home. I wrote down goals to not get bored and made sure to find activities to do.

I’m a thinker and I try to use my brain a lot! Something I found was that God isn’t leaving my side. Just as my previous blog I am learning that I need to trust Him and give my all to Him! He knows what’s going on in my life and for some reason I hadn’t been able to give my life to Him.

Most of you who follow me already know my health history but I got my blood work back and I do have a problem with my thyroid. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto Thyroiditis about 4 years ago and last year I was “basically” in remission. My Hashimoto’s won’t ever go away but could always come back…and it came back! Which makes sense why I have been so tired and not remembering things. I wasn’t planning on coming home until the end of October and something inside me told me I needed to come home now. So a week ago my brother flew down and we drove 20 hours up to Pennsylvania.

Now most of you are probably wondering what my drink is…celery juice!

Celery juice is something I drank a few years ago and saw a huge change in my body. So two days ago I started juicing celery first thing in the morning. I’ve done it for the past 3 days and haven’t noticed anything yet, but it usually takes a week before you notice a change.

“Celery juice is extremely detoxifying, as it flushes out old toxins and poisons that have built up over time.”

Honestly the first sip of celery juice is disgusting. Makes me think of “Disgusts face” from the movie, Inside Out. 😝🤢

But over time you really get used to it and it’s pretty good.

I’m taking my life back. This is the first time in about 5 years that I feel confident and good about myself. I might be sick and I definitely have been forgetting a lot more lately. (I forgot about a doctors appt I had the other day 🤦🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️)

I know I have God by my side and I am trusting in Him!!

FULL TRUST!

100% TRUST!

IN HIM⬆️