Where Is Your Focus?

Romans 8:37 “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”

I’ve been here in Arizona for a week and 2 days now. Let me tell you it seems like a lot longer. Wednesday my mom and I arrived.

Day 1: Tuesday, I got my permacath put in and started my first antibiotic treatment, Rifampin.

Day 2: Wednesday, I had Heliobosh which is the Ozone therapy where they take my blood out (about a cup),clean it, then put it back. After about 45 minutes of that I went to get another antibiotic, Ceftriaxone.

No, I have no idea how to say some of these antibiotics names…yet.

Day 3: Thursday, I had just one treatment and went back for another round of Rifampin.

Day 4: Today, I went in for another round of Ceftriaxone.

The nurses here are so nice. The head nurse who I see everyday is Alyssa. She is actually the same age as me, which is cool. I have met so many beautiful people; you can truly feel presence of God in this place.

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The past two days have been hard. Hard in the sense where I am starting to feel lonely. I was asked the other day if I miss working at the church. It got me thinking of how lonely being here has been, compared to working at the church. I have my mom and that is great, so great. But I am used to being surrounded by people, especially my fiancé. I have been here for 10 days, 10 days.

What keeps coming to my mind is Jesus being alone for 40 days in the desert. I too am in a desert. Jesus kept his focus on his Father. So can I. It’s 2 months, 8 weeks, 60 days.

The past two days have also been hard because the antibiotics have started to kick in. My perm-a-cath has also been really irritating and currently sleep is not interrupted. I am trying to have a positive attitude in this telling everyone “only 4 days closer to coming home”…and that this is the “getting worse before getting better” stage. I know it will get worse, I’ve gone through that, but I am trying to rely on Christ and keep my FOCUS on Him.

Jesus didn’t die on the cross for us to give up. I haven’t given up yet, so I am not about to do that now.

Romans 8:38-39 “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Everyone goes through something hard at some point in their lives. Sadly, we never know when or what it will be. For me this all started 10 years ago, tomorrow actually, when my grandmother unexpectedly passed away. I just assumed that I received Lyme from a tick one day like everyone else. But talking to my nurse Alyssa yesterday most likely I had the tick bite and it was dormant until this stressful time 10 years ago when it finally became active.

So with your hard situation, what are you going to do? You have options. We are human and I definitely had my days where I was angry with God. Just ask Jeremy, I must have told him 100 times how mad I was at God. But something I am realizing is that God can handle anything we throw at him. I yelled at God multiple times wondering why this all happened now and why we had to push our wedding back. I wanted to get better AND get married more than anything but not this way, it wasn’t OUR plan…But God knew this would happen and He still loves me. He will love me and walk with me through it all, so I must keep my focus on HIM!! He will also love YOU, just keep your focus on HIM. Even if it is just waking up and talking to Him. Baby steps my friends, baby steps!

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Things to be Praying for:

• Continued prayers for the pain
• I can sleep through the night without waking up
• A friend of Jeremys passed away very suddenly in a car accident so prayers for the family. (He has wife and 8 month old daughter)
• My sister-in-law currently traveling in Europe, safety.

Praises:

• Took my first bath in 3 days.
• Slept about 4 hours through the night…yes, praise!
• I felt a little energy after my heliobosh treatment (BIG praise)
• I get to see Jeremy in a week and a half 🙂